This is what my coworkers and I do at work when we get bored. We bust open a few capsules of charcoal, mix it with water, paint it on our teeth with randomly found makeup brushes and hide from customers as we painfully hold our lips away from the black goo mess. And then Laura takes incriminating pictures of me looking like I need a beer, a shotgun and a trailer. SEE, LAURA! I BEAT YOU TO THE EMBRASSING PART -- HA!
Shit, did I almost forget to explain why I signed up for this horrifying ordeal? For the promise of whiter teeth, of course. Alas, I think the buckets of coffee I consume on a daily basis may just be enough to cancel out each treatment. Maybe it really is time for that IV.
I then thought I should document how my teeth looked post-black hole mouth syndrome. Though as I was taking the photo, I realized it doesn't do much good to see what they look like after when there is no before. I will be a life coach yet. So just admire my amazing red lips.