Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Yes, SVU IS On Right Now

I can feel a cold coming on. It's no surprise, considering what my schedule looks like lately, that my diet largely consists of the aforementioned Starbucks breakfast sandwiches and chicken salad and that my sleep patterns look more like a map of the moon (lots of HOLES. Get it??) than any real REM. I generally have a stellar immune system thanks to my pure, unvaccinated body -- yes, I'm bragging -- but in the last few years whenever I get too busy I tend to get sick.

 

When I was younger I LOVED getting sick. Read: I loved the staying home part of getting sick, in which I would forgo school and sneak in episodes of Jerry Springer and Maury, eat ice cream and have the house and TV to myself. One year I plastered our front window with handmade snowflakes and littered the floor with their clippings because hey, I CAN BECAUSE I AM SICK AND WEAK AND INCAPABLE OF HOLDING A BROOM. Let's just say I was rarely sick as a kid, but was fairly often "sick." I also knew the penguin puzzle in the nurse's office by heart due to all the times I spent on her couch "waiting to get rid of a stomach ache."

 

Now in adulthood I hate getting sick. There are the responsibilities that need attending to, as well as the things I actually enjoy doing that I miss out on. Jerry Springer isn't as entertaining since I saw it live and know that the audience only boos because we're told to, and I can't get myself to believe that there are that many women who don't know the paternity of their children anymore (or maybe it's because I DO believe there are). I also get all compulsive; I MUST not miss a day of exercise, I MUST write four blog posts today, I MUST see my friends lest they ditch me forever and ever. You see the crazy, yet?

 

Whenever I get sick now I am reminded of the Yogic concept of the Kriya. Basically it's a physical manifestation of energy. It says that the body expresses all that the mind thinks, whether we are aware of it or not. The way I understand a kriya illness is that after the body has endured something it really does not like, it reacts in something like a "YOU GET IT NOW??" fashion.

 

Ain't that the truth. Every time I've been sick in recent years, I always notice it follows a period of unorthodox stress or when I really haven't been very nice to myself. My body is like, KNOCK IT OFF and I spend a week dripping snot and lying in the bathtub. Occasionally I call The Mother crying and persuade her to bring me more ice cream and tissues, because obviously I cannot be trusted to operate a vehicle in such a condition. Or so I'll say.

 

Currently I'm lying around in my pajamas, desperately trying to figure out how to knit in the round so I can attempt not screwing up a hat for the godawful midwestern winter. I've got beets on the stove and am dying to consume their sweet, sweet nutrients. My pee will be red for the rest of the week. Tea follows shortly and hopefully like 10 hours of sleep tonight.

 

I wonder if SVU is on right now?

 

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